He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
