So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
