Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
