when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
