WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Randomize
