i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
