YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize