i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
