SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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