Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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