He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
