dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
