New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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