I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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