Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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