Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
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