Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
