If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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