just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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