the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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