then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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