i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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