i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i believe in u and ur pee
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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