I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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