He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
