you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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