you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
