even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize
