did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
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