Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Randomize