the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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