the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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