The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
