I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
