I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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