You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
