please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
