I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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