no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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