I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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