We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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