Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
