I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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