You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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