She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
