I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
