a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
