Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
