went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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