I skipped work to stalk him.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
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