I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize