I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
