Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
