So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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