Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
