It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
