Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
