And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
