Got a toothbrush?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
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