We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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