it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Life is so much better after having sex.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
