Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
