I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize