You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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