i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
