Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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