Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize