you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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