I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
