is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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