That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
