Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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