There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
