I hope mine doesn't look like that
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
