I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
