i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
