just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
