My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
