You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
