thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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