Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
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