Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
