But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
