he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
