She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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