Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
it was like his penis was on wheels.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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